


The Bang That Was Promised

by Anonymous



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Humor, JBWeek, JBWeek2018, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-07-23 23:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16168880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Brienne confesses her love to Jaime and he acknowledges that she is perfect for him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is short, but I did my best to keep this as in char as possible.

She loved him. She had for years. Thinking they would die in this war against the undead she had finally confessed.

She was brave, kind, sweet and pure. She would be perfect for him and never hurt him. He had to love her. He had to make himself love her. 

His own voice whispered in his head, "You can't choose who you love." He ignored it. He was wrong. He had to be wrong. 

So he kissed her. He would make himself love her. 

Cersei didn't love him. Couldn't love him. She had been going behind his back scheming and doing who knows what else with that Greyjoy arse.

He remembered what Bronn had once said, "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new." His advice would work. It had to.

He reached to remove her armor. To his surprise she was receptive. Thinking you might not live to see tomorrow had a way of changing one's honor he supposed. Even one as honorable as her.

As the last of their clothing was removed he tried to force thoughts of Cersei from his head. Tried not to wish it was she, not Brienne here in bed with him. 

Yet still, In the darkness, he couldn't help but pretend it was Cersei he lay with. He barely stopped himself from calling out his sister's name as he came in Brienne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since there are a lot of comments on this, I'll post here my reply to one of the trolls here, since this says almost all I want to say to any trolls:
> 
> "lol? This fic took me all of ten minutes to write and publish. The only obsession here is from you and the other crazy j/b fans who are stalking my blog constantly despite me having you blocked (I have site tracking, I know how you guys check my blog constantly.)
> 
> I've also had people tell me how someone from your site named Kitty? was trying to find out if people could reject gifts on a03 and if not how they wanted everyone to gift me with a bunch of fic. Plus people have sent me screenshots of how you guys are obsessing over this fic lmao.
> 
> Hell, you want to talk about obsessing? One of you saved multiple screenshots of a convo that a mutual of mine and I had on tumblr. Screenshots they posted over a year later in the tumblr post where I posted this fic. They referred to it as "keeping receipts."
> 
> Speaking of screenshots, I've seen my own screenshots regarding you guys. You guys obsess over people who write rpf, people who write Jaime with anyone but Brienne and of course T/B fics. Hell, some of those screenshots were made public on Tumblr by someone a while ago. Who I can't remember, but I saw them. You guys even have someone Dayne? or something like that who reports daily about non j/b fics.
> 
> All I've done is write a few j/b fics you didn't like that that you guys want our of your tag. Which btw was an idea I've had in my head for ages and not been motivated to write down until now. Because I try to not put unhappy fics in the pairings tag. But since you guys do it to my ship, I was not going to hold back anymore. You guys bitch and moan when people don't tag how you want, well maybe you should stop being such hypocrites and respect other shippers if you want  
> respect yourselves."
> 
> and also jbweek tag added since you guys love this so much. kisses.
> 
> And finally, while this fic just started out as something I had the idea for in my head of a short angst fic in which J/B do bang but while he's still thinking of Cersei, the nastiness of the J/B shippers has inspired me to continue it. However so as not to sink to their level I will only update this when a J/B shipper tags J/C in their story. And no I don't even have problems with all the J/B shippers that do this, at this point it's just certain J/B shippers been so nasty to me and my fellow shippers in this fic and on tumblr that I'm not gonna quietly sit back, Plus to be honest I've grown to enjoy writing this fic and it's quick and I'm having fun doing it. The crybabies were fun for a while but it's taken too much of my time up to reply to them all. 
> 
> I also realize I've spent too much time responding to all the hate of this. So I won't be posting further negative comments.


	2. After The Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After The Bang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys liked the first chapter so much that I wanted to give you all another chapter. Enjoy :)

They rested for a while after their banging. Brienne was probably sore, seeing that he had just taken her virginity. Jaime didn't really care. 

Thoughts of Cersei had made him hard once again and it was dark. In the darkness his mind was playing tricks on him. The longer they lay there, the more his sanity eluded him. To him, she wasn't Brienne anymore. She was Cersei now. He had to have her again. 

He was about to have her again, when her voice broke through his insanity and stopped him. She spoke some words, which he didn't pay much mind to. But that voice, that wasn't the sound of Cersei's sexy voice. 

That's when he came down from his fantasy and realized. This wasn't his Cersei. This was Brienne. The woman who was like a sister to him. Or rather like a sister was supposed to be to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to update again soon!


	3. Disgusted

After Brienne once again spoke of her love for him, Jaime nodded, unwilling and unable to say the same back. Luckily, however, she hadn't been too affected by his lack of reciprocation and had drifted off to sleep next to him.

As she slept next to him, Jaime lay there awake in the sweaty sheets, feeling disgusted. He couldn't believe he had slept with a woman other than Cersei. Even more, so that that woman had been Brienne. He felt disgusted. He tried to hold it in, but could not help it. He vomited all over the sleeping Brienne.


	4. Sorry

To his surprise, Brienne awoke then. 

"Jaime, what happened? Why does my hair feel wet?"

Jaime looked at her guiltily and quickly explained, "I'm sorry, Lady Brienne, I was feeling a bit queasy and I'm afraid I released my stomaches contents onto thee."


	5. Was it the stew?

"Is it because I'm ugly?" she asked him sadly.

Jaime looked ashamed. He quickly made up a lie, "No, it's not that. I think you just didn't cook the stew enough last night."

"Again? I'm so sorry, Jaime."

"I would cook myself, but we don't want another fire again, do we?" asked Jaime

"Of course not. Now let me find something to wash this vomit out."


	6. waiting

As Brienne washed the vomit out of her hair Jaime lay there unsure of what to do next. 

Finally, Brienne came back to bed. Jaime, the coward that he was decided he would wait until tomorrow to talk to her.


	7. Friendzoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime friend zones Brienne and finds out some shocking news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the best plotline ever for this so stay tuned :XD

The next morning, before their usual breakfast of fried grubs (things were desperate in these war times), Jaime broached the difficult subject of last nights dalliance.

"Brienne, we need to talk."

"Yes, Jaime?"

"Well, first of all, I don't think you properly washed all the vomit out of your hair."

"Oh...well it was dark..."

"Yes, I know... but, that's not what I wanted to talk about. This thing between us, it can never happen again."

Brienne looked at him, clearly disappointed, "I understand. You still love Cersei."

"I do, but it's not that. I just don't see you as anything more than a friend, I must apologize, I fear I got over you last night to try to get over my sister," he replied honestly.

"I see, so what now?"

"We continue on as before and forget last night ever happened."

"Of course," she replied with tears in her eyes.

"Look on the bright side, at least now you won't die a maiden." he paused and then continued, "Although I feel awful for taking your maidenhead, How are you feeling now?"

"A maiden? Oh, Jaime...I...I wasn't a maiden. Not for weeks now..."


	8. Who was it?

"You weren't a maiden? But...you seemed in such pain last night."

"I was in pain last night. You weren't exactly gentle."

"Well...I...it had been a while since I've....never mind that, how were you not a maiden before we...?"

"I didn't want to die a maiden. So about a fortnight ago, I asked Podrik to help me out."

"You and Pod?" asked Jaime shocked.

"Of course not! I asked him to help me find a suitable man for the deed. Knowing my feelings for you, he naturally picked you. But I knew you'd never....well thought you'd never....so I asked him to find another."

Jaime shifted awkwardly, "So who did he pick?" he asked.

"Several men. They all declined his proposal, even the hound. Until finally one man accepted."

"And who would that be? 

Your friend, Ser Bronn"

"Bronn and you? Wow, he never told me."

"Yes, well, we didn't quite...you see Tormund...," trailed off Brienne, blushing furiously.

"Wait, whos Tormund?" asked Jaime.

"That red-headed fellow with the beard, the wildling."

"Aye. You mean Commander Giantsbane. Didn't know you two were on a first name basis."

"Now as I was saying, Tormund spotted us. He asked Bronn where he thought he was going with me. Well as it turns out, your dear friend Bronn has absolutely no class or subtlety."

Jaime laughed, "No, no he doesn't. What did he say?"

"He said and I quote, "Going off to fuck this big woman cause ain't nobody else gonna do it. Not that I have any problem with that cause I'd have fucked her two seasons ago." 

"Fucked her two seasons ago?"

"Yeah. Don't ask me what he meant by that. Anyway, things got quite interesting from there."


	9. slick as a baby seal

"Tormund then said what a lucky man Bronn was. I tried to usher Bronn away, but that man does not take the hint," Brienne paused, unsure of how to continue describing the awkward exchange.

"What happened next?" asked Jaime finally.

"Next Tormund asked Bronn if he knew how to make me and I quote "slick as a baby seal." Bronn then informed Tormund that he'd been with many a woman, and none had any complaints. Tormund replied something about how he'd been with many different kinds of woman himself and all were different. He made some odd remark that even woman of the same species can be rather different in their needs. He reiterated how important it is to make sure you find what she enjoys and make her slick as a baby seal. Bronn then stated "I know how to fuck. Come on Lady Brienne, let's get back to my room and get fucking." Then Tormund said "Well, it doesn't sound to me like you know how to fuck. I bet you just stick it in and do your thing. There's so much more to it than that. Maybe she'd rather make love. Brienne, do you really want to fuck this man, or would you rather make love to me?"


	10. Going On A Walk

"And then what happened?" asked Jaime curiously.

"Well, by this point I was feeling uneasy about the whole thing with Bronn. My septa had told me how it would hurt and Bronn didn't sound like he would give a shit....excuse my language. This wasn't as worrisome to me as Bronn's earlier talks with me though."

"What earlier talks?"

"For some reason, he wanted to know what Tarth was like and whether I had my own castle. He seemed rather obsessed with it."

"How...odd," replied Jaime feigning ignorance.

"Indeed. So at this point, I wasn't sure what to say or do. I stammered out to Tormund's question that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. He then replied that perhaps he and I should go on a walk alone together and get to know each other. I told him as I barely knew him I was not comfortable going off alone with him. Bronn jumped in saying "Ah the fuck with it, if I ain't gonna be fucking you tonight I mine as well escort you on your walk." After some time walking and making small talk, Tormund informed us that there was something he wanted to show us. The three of us walked for over an hour before we arrived at a large cave. That's when things began to get very bizarre."


	11. In the Cave

"Very bizarre? What in the seven hells happened?" asked Jaime

"Well once we arrived at this cave, Tormund told us to stay back while he went to see if Shiela was home. We would all come to find out shortly later that Shiela was a bear. The cave was unoccupied at that time though, save for three small cubs. Tormund picked up one of these cubs and turned to us and asked if we could see the red tint in its fur. Bronn approached Tormund to get a better look I assume, and he commented, "fuck I don't know, maybe there's a bit of a red tint." I stayed back as I was rather puzzled at this point and more than a bit annoyed that we had walked so far only to seemingly stop at some cave. So I replied, sarcastically "yeah, perhaps it's related to you" as I rolled my eyes. Tormund then smiled at me even more creepily then ever before. He thanked me for my comment and informed me that he was pretty sure I was right. Before I could comment back Bronn pointed out that a big ass fucking bear was approaching in the distance."


	12. Shiela

"At this point, I told them both that we needed to get out of here before that bear spotted us. Bronn agreed with me and we began to make our leave. Tormund, however, stood there holding that cub and yelled, "Sheila!", all while sporting the goofiest grin.


	13. meeting your future boyfriends ex

"She was getting closer and closer to me. So I drew my sword. As I did so she stood up on two legs and I swear she smiled at me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, I'm just continuing this because the whole Brienne/tormund/shiela thing is hilarious to write. I'm done with all the drama from j/b crybabies who want to bitch about tagging, insult this fic and/or post fake ass spoilers. So I'm done replying to/posting your comments. I admit I liked the stat increase for a while but between that and all my replies, it's skewed my stats way too much. I'll continue to write this and update (only when someone tags j/c in their j/b fic) but I'm done arguing with morons. Furthermore, on tumblr I've already blocked most of the crybabies who have bitched in the fic comments. Any further people coming in, and I don't give a fuck who you are, even a fellow shipper or mutual (neither of which has happened yet, but I fear might) I'm blocking. You want to bitch, go bitch at the hypocrites who tag however they want and bitch about others tagging. Not just this fic but they bitch and harass rpf writers too because they hate that they tag jaime/brienne in their gwen/nik fics.

**Author's Note:**

> Since there are a lot of comments on this, I'll post here my reply to one of the trolls here, since this says almost all I want to say to any trolls:
> 
> "lol? This fic took me all of ten minutes to write and publish. The only obsession here is from you and the other crazy j/b fans who are stalking my blog constantly despite me having you blocked (I have site tracking, I know how you guys check my blog constantly.)
> 
> I've also had people tell me how someone from your site named Kitty? was trying to find out if people could reject gifts on a03 and if not how they wanted everyone to gift me with a bunch of fic. Plus people have sent me screenshots of how you guys are obsessing over this fic lmao.
> 
> Further trollish comments will cause me to bump this fic and my other fics in the jaime/brienne tag back up to the top. 1 bump per each trollish comment. If I have you blocked on tumblr, please have the maturity to respect that and don't comment, as the only reason I don't block you here is because this site has no block feature. 
> 
> Further trollish comments will cause me to bump this fic and my other fics in the jaime/brienne tag back up to the top. If I have you blocked on tumblr, please respect that and don't comment, as the only reason I don't block you here is because this site has no block feature.
> 
>  
> 
> Hell, you want to talk about obsessing? One of you saved multiple screenshots of a convo that a mutual of mine and I had on tumblr. Screenshots they posted over a year later in the tumblr post where I posted this fic. They referred to it as "keeping receipts."
> 
> Speaking of screenshots, I've seen my own screenshots regarding you guys. You guys obsess over people who write rpf, people who write Jaime with anyone but Brienne and of course T/B fics. Hell, some of those screenshots were made public on Tumblr by someone a while ago. Who I can't remember, but I saw them. You guys even have someone Dayne? or something like that who reports daily about non j/b fics.
> 
> All I've done is write a few j/b fics you didn't like that that you guys want our of your tag. Which btw was an idea I've had in my head for ages and not been motivated to write down until now. Because I try to not put unhappy fics in the pairings tag. But since you guys do it to my ship, I was not going to hold back anymore. You guys bitch and moan when people don't tag how you want, well maybe you should stop being such hypocrites and respect other shippers if you want  
> respect yourselves."
> 
> and also jbweek tag added since you guys love this so much. kisses.
> 
> (Mid January 2019) I don't know why this is suddenly getting kudos again, but I just wanted to say, I haven't deleted any comments on this. The people who made them seem to have deleted a ton of their comments. My best guess is they realize what trolls and fools they looked like and were embarrassed.
> 
> I've gotten bored with this story so I probably won't be updating again. Truthfully I'm not too proud of chapter 2 and onward. Those chapters honestly solely exist because of the trolling of the Braime shippers on this fic. I'd like to concentrate any further of my writing efforts (even efforts this minuscule) on my drabbles, or more importantly, my longer fic, Inevitable which I'm hoping to have finished by the April Premiere.


End file.
